Dist-sama's Revenge Diary!
Why I am not a Rose, but a Death God!!
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circa ND1982
Title: Ultra Super Hyper High-Grade Fonic Technologist!
I, the elegant Dist the Rose, shall grace you unworthy savages with my gorgeous presence!
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Welcome to my Revenge Journal, curious one. Read 'em and weep, hahaha! That means you, Jade!
27th-Jan-2008 12:32 pm - What the bloody hell....this is bad news.
Viral - Uh WTF?
*sigh* All right, just WHO is trying to test my limits here and now?

...I regret to say I found another tumor. It's very small (dime-size).

I have the original lump to my left side (it's about the size of a medium egg)...and this new one on my right. It's in the same area, too, just on the opposite side. HOWEVER this new lump is very VERY close to my spine, oh god-- I don't even want to think about how it will feel post-surgery. *grumble*

What the hell is going on with my body?! I'm disgusted at this point. I want to find out WHY they are there, WHY they keep appearing and HOW I CAN STOP THEM!? UGH. If it's my genes to blame, why the hell was I born? Just to suffer when I turn twenty? Ughhhh!

That's not all though, most recently, the larger lump started to actually feel like it was BURNING one night. This was at night and it kept me up 'til God knows how long. Ugh! Now I KNOW for a fact that the tumors are related to stress. How? Simply stated, I was SO stressed out that night. God, you don't even know how much I wish I was a normal person; how I wish I didn't have to worry about everything; how I wish I could handle this better. UGH. SO YES it's safe to say that it's gotten to the painful stage now.

Really. I'm not sure what to think at this point. I don't think I want to think of options I have left besides surgery (that won't help much because they'll keep growing back!!!;;;). I guess I can sacrifice my looks because I think by the time this is all over my back will just be riddled with nasty scars... ugh. Then there's probably radiation treatment, ugh, but that's so dangerous. *twitch* How am I going to fit all these appointments into my schedule that's already cramped as is?! *screams* I don't want to lose my job that I JUST got ahold of! Something I've been working very hard to get--!! AND I DON'T WANT TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE.

This isn't FAIR.

I already made an appointment with the surgeon this upcoming Tuesday. I guess it's good I found the other lump ahead of time, so I can show him both now.

*sigh* What else can go wrong now...?

With all these uncertainties aside, let me tell you something I'm certain of: It's incredibly hard trying to stay positive when everything jumps in the way of your well being.

edit on a odd note... I do remember the surgeon saying something very peculiar during the surgery: "If more appear, ignore it." ... How am I to ignore something like that?! I feel as if he just doesn't want to -deal- with it. I hope that's not the case.;;; I know I'm lucky I don't have it as bad as others but... no problem is too insignificant. I sure hope he is a -real- surgeon and doesn't tell me to "never come back," because that's how I felt he put it last time. *twitch* I don't really like this surgeon...
  • Tags:...............
  • Mood:indescribable
  • Music:trauma center ost... I know, shut up...
9th-Dec-2006 09:54 am - me & oc don't get along very nicely
unamused guy
............
..............
..........

I can't believe it

I just lost my super cracky R18 "WTF KIND OF FACE IS THAT TO USE IN THE BEDROOM, DIST" ????XDist sketch

....w,

....why?

IT WAS SOOO GOOD TOO aughhhh; I WAS SEMI-PROUD of its lewdness
Open Canvas, why are you so cruel to me? I bet Jade created this program, that's what...
Dist and Jade had hawt angrysex on Jul 7th 2008, 8:31 am GMT!