Have a taste of my...

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 04:03:58 GMT

23:37 freezing. someone warm me up. zzzz.. #

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SAPHIR IS SUCH A DORK PT. 1 + something srs

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 12:28:34 GMT

Okay this is pretty much just a 3-second 4 koma, but... here ya go!

bad end. :O

In other late breaking news, I'm considering turning my journal to "friends only" because I don't want this pathetic, lazy creeper being able to read my journal any longer. It's unpleasant to the MAXXXXXXX and unfair. I've never ever ever EVER in any of my [long] years of livejournaling thought to turn "HUR HUR FRIENDS ONLY" but srsly, it's kinda getting gross now. Yush. I'm sure all my other readers who don't have a LJ will suffer but... c'mon, I HONESTLY don't want a certain nasty reading it any more. In the words of Yeager, "Time to say BYE BYE! CARESS OF DEATH!" :O

SO, FRIENDS, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "FRIENDS ONLY" JOURNALS? Discuss.

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 04:03:43 GMT

20:48 SLEEVE CAPS = BANE OF MY EXISTENCEEEEEEEEEEE UUGHHHH EVEN CUTE, INNOCENT SAPHIR MUST CAUSE ME GRIEF! #

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Things! Saphir cosplay [1/???]

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:11:39 GMT

HELLO ALL.

So I've been working slowly on a new cosplay (lol right after AB, I know, I'm crazy). Obviously, it's Saphir. I originally started it last summer, but I stopped it because I had something else to occupy my time. I also felt sad because I couldn't find anyone else who wanted to cosplay Keterburgers with me. D: Now, I at least have raine_sage81 as a child!Nephry, so I'm pretty much finishing up this half-sewn cosplay. 8Db

Where I left off was just making the base of the jacket. I picked it up and made his cute little sailor collar, it's all finished now. The cute short shorts are all set, too, and pleated like he has them. I'm currently working on putting the sleeves in (SLEEVE CAPS ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE, AAAAARGH). I found a workable wig which I will have to style and cut once it comes in. I'm still in search for his god awful shoes... they're like antiques. I guess I'll have to look around very hard for them. Or modify something. XD

Very in-progress. Ignore all the pins down the front, I need to do something with shaping it later. :3

After Saphir is finished, I'm going to take a break and replay Vesperia (now that my Xbox is back!!), aiming to make a complete game (yay side quests!). *nod* Then, I'll start working on Yeager-- I know he won't be a quick costume, and LOL WISH ME LUCK WITH HIM. ~~NO EYEBROWS, NO EYEBROWS AT ALL!~~

So yeah that's it for now. Tata.

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:03:18 GMT

14:24 @boadiceamoon fuck yes cranberries are awesome. :B #

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Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:03:15 GMT

13:48 WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS? Saphir wears short shorts! #

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did our laughter, did our tears have some purpose afterall?

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 03:29:14 GMT

I've made a lot of friends... hi all you. I hope you enjoy my posts. :3 *waves* It's so nice to have friends.

I should open with something nice, hmm?

I'm very much into synthpop recently. It's so addicting, oh god.

I see you sometimes
as you sail the sky
you seem to be much closer now
the soothing voice of your heart
comforts me
it takes me away
from all this misery

under the sea of stars
maneuvering your ship of dreams
seeking everlasting joy
as you remove all your scars...

a glimmer of hope
in our hearts and minds
contemplating who you are
the soothing voice of your heart
comforts me
It takes me away
from all this misery

*sighs happily*

So yeah, how about a real post nao? Shit's been going down for the past couple of days since I got back.

Let's see...

My sister got rushed to the ER a couple nights ago (didn't come home until sometime after midnight), and they couldn't find what was wrong with her. The shitass doctors were all OF COURSE WE HAVE TO TEST HER FOR MENINGITIS AND NOTHING ELSE NOPE BECAUSE LOOK, THESE SPOTS ALL OVER HER FACE MUUUUST MEAN SHE HAS MENINGITIS. Fuck that shit, it could be a multitude of things (RMSF anyone?). So yeah they just tested her for that, and that was it. Discharged and still no diagnosis nor conclusive results. Wtf. They refused to think it was from a tick, and did not do any sort of testing. Fuck that shit. I work in a lab, if I was there with her at the ER i'd bitch that lazy doctor(s) out. God, do you job right. What was it again? THOU SHALL DO NO HARM, right? hah.

Then she got almost deathly sick again TODAY, throat closed up and even had paralysis in one leg. Oh, she's 16 by the by. Wtf. Had severe chills, couldn't swallow anything / medicine / drink. Poor thing. She's recovering now though, because they did manage to find she had Strep...which is probably unrelated to the THING in the first paragraph.

Yep, I still hate doctors. Do your job right and stop being lazy. And yes I know what I'm talking about, I work at a hospital and deal with this crap quite often. Speaking of which...

WORK RELATED...
My boss at the lab is leaving June 5th...that startled me, because I didn't think she'd leave. I thought she would be here for a long time. :O She's quite young though. I'm STILL in for my annual review that she has yet to write for me (like, 4 months late). Bah. I should be getting it soon, along with my raise. (: Yay moneys.

I has a new Clinical Lab Science buddy! For reelz! Her name is Ann and we're biffles. Okay, I wish. ANYWAY, she's such a big, cute dork. *pinch* (: TEE HEE. We talk and get so carried away, and sometimes I don't even notice until it's like, a half hour passed... oops. But I like talking to her. She may be taking a class with me next fall. *crosses fingers* ^___^

Hmmm...what else? I feel like I've been drawn closer into some sort of feasible identity hither or thither. No, I'm being vague on purpose. I'm happy with where I am now though. I like myself (like I usually do). (: I just wish my mother was here to see it, to see how I've grown.

Ah! I apparently found my twin, only in male form. (He'd punch me if he read that, heh). It's SO SURREAL how we both are similar in thinking capabilities/mind capacity. It's... odd, I can't really explain it well enough but he pretty much thinks like I do. XD He may be coming to hang out on this weekend depending on my schedule. He found my SN through the Anime Boston forums... >_>;;;

FANDOM durrr

I've been slowly starting up working on cosplay again. I'm finishing up my Saphir. :Db Pictures may come at a later date. I'm currently working on his jacket. Already have his shorts, lawl. Oh expect a 4koma later about his shorts...hahahaha, zwanhyrule already has an idea what that's going to be about. XD

ODDITIES

My ps2 died recently. YES he one I just bought last summer. wtf. So I'm both PS2-less AND XBOX-less. Actually, speaking of which, my XBOX is coming to me tomorooowwwwww! <3 I just hope I'm there when the UPS man delivers, lawl.

Anything else?
Well.
I've been feeling awfully poetic lately. Waxing poetically. Mmm...

I guess I should close with something cryptic now. This is vaguely referencing to Jade and Dist as kids, and how they grew up and ultimately grew apart from each other because of that one fateful event...

did we toil in vain in hope
that wisdom came from what we'd done?

even lands we once called home
lie undiscovered and unknown
only heaven's silence for an answer...

are these not words of heresy?
a venom on my lips, a poison?
my spirit impurified
in everything I choose to say

if i would shed my skin, the layers left
but not the lessons learned
it would not undo what I have done
or grant forgiveness in some better days.

Anime Boston 2009 epic post of awesomosity!

Sat, 30 May 2009 19:59:39 GMT

Okay first off, a warning: VERY IMAGE HEAVY POST, GUYS so uhhh yeah if you're on dial up, you're screwed. :O I HOPE THIS DOESN'T FREEZE ANYONE'S COMPY.

THERE MAY BE GAY/YAOI/YURI/QUESTIONABLE/SPOILER MATERIAL IN THIS POST SO DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA. I'll organize them by days. Here we goooo. (OH GOD THIS TOOK ME 5 DAYS TO PRACTICALLY COMPILE, AHHAA, BUT NOW I'M FREEEEEEE!!! PLEASE ENJOY!)

This is raine_sage81's Jade plushie she made me two Otakons ago. Uhhhh Jade, what's that buusagi doing... >___> ALSO my Jade pushie has a weird habit of LOSING HIS BELT LOLOLOL.

The buusagi traveled quite a bit... even on my back when I was working on cosplay.

And ontop of my Dist wig. ~~LOL HE LOOKS LIKE A LUNCHLADY.~~

Barrelow X prop. Which was thrown together like, the day before I left...with epoxy! LOL. Yay Barrelow X!

The light on top of his head lights up...8'D ... I'm such a dork. XDDD (P.S. HE LOOKS LIKE A TEA KETTLE)

Aaaand this is me, about to punch the camera...waiting for the train. lololol. trains.

THE INNER ABYSSOPHILE IN ME BEGGED FOR A PICTURE. If only I saw a Jade cosplayer go here, I'd die laughing. <3

raine_sage81's young!Tear costume from the anime. She did a nice job. :D Without wig because IT WAS FREAKING HOT OUT, UGGHHH. We were waiting in the preregistration line on Thursday.

Next up is... Friday of the convention! And since I was Dist, I practically got raped for photos. XD

raine_sage's Miku cosplay. We were in line for the Dealer's room. :O

And I was with facklemuffin who cosplayed Jr. from Xenosaga! YAY FOR ASSORTED SERIES.

Personuuuhh. :P (HOLY COW I JUST REALIZED: HOW DID THEY MAKE THAT STOP SIGN it looks like the exact one from the game, too...LOL so awesome!!)

I met zwanhyrule!!! Finally! You are so AWESOME and cool and COSPLAYED ANISE. *hifive* I let her borrow my Tokunaga...SEE, THIS IS WHERE DIST GAVE ANISE TOKUNAGA. Only not in a Dealer's room, it was in the cafeteria. XD

Also met raine_sage's friend, who cosplayed Naoto! Kickass.

Still Friday. NEXT WE HAD LITTLE MINI PHOTOSHOOTS AT THE SOUTH GARDEN. FUCK YES. This is the first time I saw them having the garden open, which made things 37348578743857x better for cosplay photos!

First up: Miku Hatsune by raine_sage81

LEEEEEEEEEK SPIIIIIIIIIIIIN

Aaaand that's all for Miku Hatsune!

Next up? Jr. from Xenosaga, by facklemuffin!

Next up...ME! As default!Dist, revamped. Tales time!

Dare I even say anything? I hope this doesn't give you guys nightmares...lol...liquid latex is fun. Thank you to sapling for the lovely tip.

Backshot just to show mmmm coat tails.

~~Kaiser Dist, I choose you~~

Such grace!

Mystic Arte pose. BEHOLD THE ARTE OF THE ROSE, YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY! D-BUSTER!!!

What, what was that...?!?! (right before the "Grrrr!" response) I was doing his silly tantrum flailing thing, in case you were curious. :Db

Definitely not reflecting about the past, or Jade. Nope.

Proof that Dist -can- jump, among other things. He isn't always in his chair.

THIS WAS A MUCH NEEDED POSE. ♥

SO PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAY

Why yes, I am quite gorgeous. (insert sparkles and shoujo bubbles here)

...along with

MANIACAL!!

NARF NARF NARF TROUSER SOCKS, I has them.

...notice the Jade in the background LOLOLOL I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS UNTIL AFTER THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN. I guess Jade was ~~stalking Dist~~ trying to keep Dist in check, ever being the colonel he is. *smirk*

I LOVE coat tails SO MUCH SO beyond any normal comprehension. MMMMPH!

DIST LOOKS GODLY HERE. God general of Daath, for sure. I feel like he's about to say, "BRING IT, JADE! ♥" ...riiiight before tossing out Kaiser Dist, of course. He doesn't want to dirty his hands.

NOW FOR A CHANGE OF SCENERY! Default!Dist continues...

~~PROOF DIST IS A PEDOPHILE~~ Proof that Dist can bargain. Van, here are the little boys you wanted. Now give me my compensation...so I can fulfill my dream to resurrect the Professor!

Dist can make any pose look sexy. (I was...taking my badge off in the process? Sexily, of course.)

Water fon machine reparation...

Face it. Dist is magical.

Yet another angle. Camera man during this shoot was facklemuffin, btw.

WHO IS MORE PRETTY?!?! It's Dist, right? That's a stretchy rubber leek, btw. Tug-o-leek.

SPIN THAT LEEK, HURRR.

Vocaloid abuse. With a leek.

What...is that...? (I can't recall what we were looking at) MAYBE IT'S NAKED JADE. 8B

Dist about to toss Miku into the water ~~because Jade reprogrammed her to sing nonstop oh dear lorelei make it stop.~~ Juuust kidding.

Formal ball Miku.

Next up: Saturday!
raine_sage81 as Estelle (Magical Maiden variant) from Tales of Vesperia
and facklemuffin as Guy Cecil from Tales of the Abyss

We were waiting in line for Troy Baker, the ultra cutie...who blew his fans off D8<<< Please just don't ask about the photo, though. XD Gailardia likes eating swords, apparently. ~~Oh Luke...?~~

NOW FOR SOME PHOTOS I TOOK WHILE WAITING IN LINE:

Spotted a Tear and Mieu while in line. (:

I haaaaaaaad to take this photo. YAY VOCALOID LUV.

This Tales series photo shoot was THE BEST ONE EVER IN ALL THE OTHER YEARS PAST! O-O WOW! I was surprised!! And everyone was so compliant with our requests! LOL even my perverted ones!! XD LET'S GOOOOOO---

From left to right: zwanhyrule as Anise, me as Rita, and raine_sage81 as Magical Maiden Estelle.

Everyone together. Well, almost everyone. YES THAT IS MAN LLOYD AND MAN ZELOS. HOW COOL IS THAT.

Derp, NOTICE RITA'S HAND AROUND ESTELLE'S SHOULDER. HURHUR. XD (My robe was being stupid and poofy in this photo, boo.)

NOW THE CRACK ENSUES!!! Open for requests. Here we gooooo!

LOL I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH OF THIS besides Tear trying to threaten Peony away. I think Peony wanted to touch her melons. "HOW ABOUT A HUUUUUUG?" /Raven

Best Anise Face. Ever.

I forgot what exactly was going on, but Jade was running somewhere. Maybe to His Highness. :O

SOMEONE'S BEEN REPLICATING?! Oh snap.

BEST SCENE, EVER. BEST FACES. Asch looks like he's about to kill Luke, Luke looks a bit too happy and Guy is off in his own world. <3

Two Anises, a Jade and a BROKEN TOKUNAGA!! GRR!!!

I THINK THE WORLD WOULD END IF RITA AND JADE EVER MET. Two geniuses, hahaha ~~the sheer brilliance might break the fon barrier.~~ <3 Jade shook my hand very professionally, too. 8Db

PEONY AND ZELOS PICKIN' UP THE WIMMENZ!!! (Notice Tear in the background... melon radar..)

AND BY WIMMENZ we mean underaged kids!!! (Tear included) Oh dear. XD

Mieu wing!! Only it didn't work because TEAR'S MELONS WEIGHED HER DOWN LOLOL *shot*

JADE AND ANISE ACTION, YEAAAAAAH ~~God I sound like a pedophile~~ THEY ARE SO ADORABLE! ♥

Now notice Mieu in the background.

IS...JADE WINKING? Oh lorelei.

DO IT, LUKE!!!

Luke: "Whoa Tear."

Luke was flipping the camera off... before Tear tried to hide it. Lol. :D This Luke was aaaawesome sauce. <3

Luke really deserved this. ^_^ Go Tear!

Derp derp, they were so cute together.

Epic Ion death scene. ; n ;

Another angle.

Natalia and Mieu....originally Natalia had that thing around her neck I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE, AAARGH?!?!

Luke and Asch MADE UP?!?!

ACTUALLY, ANIME BOSTON 2009'S ALTERNATIVE TITLE WAS...MELONS FEST 2009.

I requested Yuri. XD MORE MELONS!

The cuteness gave me a cavity almost. :]

God I wanted to pinch that Mieu's cheek...LOL. I'm not creepy. <3

I requested the tickle tickle nibble skit...! LOOK AT THESE FACES, LMFAO. YOU KNOW THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING BAD NOW.

loooololol (Okay everyone watch Guy's crotch now, I bet he's gonna enjoy this...JK, JK!!! *RUNS LIKE HELL*)

PETA PETA PETA PETA PETA (tickle tickle tickle...)

...NIBBLE!!!!

GYNOPHOBIA!!!!!!!

I was as Rita on Saturday...so 2 Anises makes everything just LOLI. Though Rita's not your typical loli, hahaha. Tsundere! <3

Double the Anise, double the trouble...and so... Rita: I'M GONNA GO NUTS!!

YOUR HIGHNESS, KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!! (Natalia slap!)

Miiiiiieeeeeeeeeeu ;_;

Close up. EVERYONE SAY "AWWWWWWWWW POOR MIEU"!

Cue Estellise's opening movie scene where she dances in that field... XD

...:D

Aaaand done!

Zelos fight. :3

Everyone killed Zelos and LLOYD WANTS TO TAKE A PICTURE OF IT LOLOLOL WHAT he looks so happy about it, too! XD

I requested more smut. I mean, Peony and Jade. <3

OH YOUR MAJESTY--MMRPH!!

Of course, they are both enjoying it! Look at those smiles! XDD

This Jade and Peony were so fun. ' u '

Omake... x: perhaps Jade->Peony this time.

This was from the game where everyone had to beg Peony! What is Mieu doing down there, lmfao. XDD <3

I love Tear's look the best LOLOL. :3

Abyss group. :3 NOTICE WHERE MIEU'S SORCERER RING IS LOOOOOOL! <3

COUGH COUGH FANSERVICE. COUGH.

PEONY AND LAMB (buusagi?) CHOP. FUCK YES. It was cute, shh.

Mieu and Guy. (:

SUNDAYYY I was my epic Lab!Dist creation. >3 It was never in the anime or the game, but was my own idea. I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY RECOGNIZED MEEEEEEE. WHEEE. This made my whole CON!!! ♥ P.S. YES I didn't do my Disty brows this costume...I figured I could be pre-game, so pre-brows... lol.

OKAY FOR THE LULZ. Dist + Sephora = MAKE UP HEAVEN. Yes? Yes. NO FURTHER ARGUMENTS HERE, FOLKS.

I SPY ANOTHER DIST AND JADE IN THE DEALER'S ROOM. Given, I was lab!Dist for the day but that didn't stop me from being PSYCHO lol.

I totally didn't rape that Jade, I swear. IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, HONEST.

Dist makes everything so dramatic(ly cute). "COME, MY FONTECH MINIONS!! MWAHAHAHA"

SQUINT AT THE BADGE. I DARE YOU. It says "Rita Mordio" lolol IDENTITY CRISIS!!!

Supermodel Dist pose. ~~This was a commercial ad for Covergirl.~~

Just a heads up, this isn't the same Dist you see in game. It's pre-game, decidedly, and he's a bit less crazy. Well, as less crazy as you can get for Dist. :X

CLOSE UP OF MY GORGEOUSLY GENIUS, SCIENTIFIC FACE!

Serious, sexy scientist. :O

GLAM.

DEFINITELY NOT DRUNK.

This looks like Miku is as tall as the buildings. XD

Obviously Mohs was in charge here. No fun!

So in the scenario that Dist is Miku's "master" ... this was needed. FOOT POPPIN' ACTION.

UHHH rule #1 while working in a lab: DO NOT TOUCH THE FACE. (It was windy out and my wig was getting all dsfhdfgjhjfdh rawr)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FON MACHINES ARE BROKEN?!?!" I had to. Dist is such a silly nerd.

Oh yeah and my loot from AB 2009. EPIC CON, EPIC SWAG:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I dare you to count how many Jades I have on my phone now, lol.

Also I am in love...

...with my new Destiny figures!!! (YOU CAN SEE JUDAS' HIP BONE DETAIL ON THIS FIGURE. oh my god I was so happy...man, I am beyond help here. XD) NOW I WANNA REVAMP MY JUDAS COSPLAY AAAAAAH (it was so bad lolol)

Klarth included, too. <3 I wish that was the porno mag though.

SO LIKE, ANIME BOSTON 2009 WAS THE MOST EPIC CONVENTION YET, TALES INCLUDED. Thank you everyone for making it so fun and amazing! I found out that Troy Baker's an ass, there are many people who took my photo and loved my costumes, and there are also MANY MANY tales fans out there now (in retrospect to the first time I cosplayed Dist). OH AND SCREAMING INCANTATIONS WHILE GOING UP/DOWN ESCALATORS MADE EVERYTHING SO EPIC NO MATTER WHO I COSPLAYED, HAHAA! ^_^ Just...the con was...oh god, too awesome for mere words! <3 I met SO many people and made new friends and I AM IN LOVE WITH CONS ALL OVER AGAIN! WHOO! Sadly...I dunno if I'll be able to go next years AB since it'll be DURING my college semester. D: I'll try though. 8Db Oh and next year's Otakon I'm definitely going. ;)

Feel free to use these photos, save them, etc. Also if you are in some of these photos, please tell me so I can credit who is who. :3 Comment and tell me if you had a favorite picture, liked a certain something, or didn't want a photo posted, whatever. I aim to pleeeease. :]

&hearts

P.S. "DO IT, LUKE!" or, "I'M GONNA GO NUTS!" ♥

The most epic convention ever ... [+ something serious]

Mon, 25 May 2009 04:08:47 GMT

...will actually be posted about later, as I'm in horrible pain and am dead tired, lol. I have 300+ photos I need to sort through and whatnot.

For now, here, have a teaser. Mmmm, lab!Dist.

It's time for some serious ~~business~~ fonic experiments~! ♥

Ah.
Unrelatedly. To more pressing topics...

On a serious note: My wrist feels like it's going to explode, guys, so if I don't respond to anyone- be it IM or email or whatever - it's because I am in HIDEOUS PAIN right now. Please keep this in mind. If it continues, I probably won't be online for a while (because HELLO I CAN'T USE MY ARM IF IT HURTS). ;;;; The tumor in my arm hurts very, very much. I've never had a tumor hurt before...so this is a tad scary. Since it's in my arm - a very confined space - it's pressing against muscle and tissue and possibly a nerve-- if it gets larger, it can even block off bloody supply now. It's turned unbearable within the past week, especially today! ;;; I can barely function that arm and hand. Today I noticed I've been losing motor capability...I wasn't able to zip things up, or to open a box, or anything. It only hurts when I try using the muscle, so it must be something related to that. It's entirely too depressing to think about now. Oh, and it's my writing hand. Sucks, huh.

And I have not only one tumor, but two. I found a second lump directly inside my wrist...which leads me to believe that there's something very very wrong with my body. Right now, or forever. I don't know which is the case. Sorry to leave off this post on a depressing note, but it's clearly an issue that's out of my hands now. It's something I obviously can't ignore. I just wish for the best result...and soon. I don't want to be in pain. If it's something I can avoid, I would... but I'm sure it's just genetics kicking in.

Thu, 21 May 2009 04:13:03 GMT

22:22 Oh man, I am so beat. Barrelow, deliever me unto this time in which I should be sleeping. Zzz. #

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hay...hay u...I've got a sekrit

Thu, 21 May 2009 03:47:03 GMT

*whispers*

BRB, ANIME BOSTON!!!!!!!!

so like, yeah. all the cool kids, hit me up. we b flyin albiorzzz and tartarsawces.

aaaaaand I'm out like a light. Zzzz.

Tue, 19 May 2009 04:04:12 GMT

00:05 All in the world is well now that I have conquered the Dist eyebrows. <3 #

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Mon, 18 May 2009 04:03:39 GMT

08:22 @boadiceamoon LMFAO HEY THERE XDD I love being stalked, especially by you. ♥ (Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?) #

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Sun, 17 May 2009 04:03:41 GMT

10:16 WELL THE SUMMER IS HERE. Bound to have some fun things to do. Anyone wanna hang out? Hit me up. @_@;;; #

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Cast my thoughts into the water, awaiting judgment from the sea...

Sun, 17 May 2009 02:03:24 GMT

... and someday the tide will rise
up so high to swallow me.

So I received my grades yesterday for the spring semester. Almost straight A's again... except for Chemistry. Stupid chemistry is stupid. I am surprised though because I wasn't in the right mindset to even STUDY for my finals... so I guess everything in the long run paid off. Though I wish I got all A's though, like last Spring. *sigh*

I'm still on the Dean's List, and in good standing. Nothing really new here. I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

What else is new? I'm slowly packing stuff for AB... I've opened up my luggage and began to pile some things in that are already complete (like my Rita cosplay). I cleaned out my drawer and locked away things I do not want to see ever again, and also rearranged some other drawers, throwing out old things. I also need to drop off some old clothes at the local Salvation Army... @_@;; Oh yeah and it took me all afternoon to package my XBOX... to ship out next Monday. I suppose it will take a month from then, so it will return around June 8th or so? During that week.

Man, I feel so beat. So tired. My back hurts like hell...mrph... I miss having the luxury of hot water. I am in dire need of a relaxing warm bath. *le sigh* But I've no right to complain of lack of heat here. To look on the bright side, at least I have somewhere to live. *smile*

Perhaps I can pick up more work hours over the summer...even if it's just an hour added to each shift... it's not like I have summer classes or much else to do. *Shrug*

Standing still here for a moment, breath held tightly in my body
A world that's growing darker not worth a longer stay

All the wisdom that I earned can't make a change to this state
As I lay down my spirit's arms, on my knees to seal my fate

I cast my hopes into the waters, awaiting judgment from the sea
And someday the tide will rise up so high to swallow me

Collapsing pride and fading joy are marking my capitulation
To a world that cries in pain, and slowly dies in misery

Come the demons of my soul to carry my sane mind away
I'm just a noble soul of honor who has left its way

Cast my thoughts into the water awaiting judgment from the sea
And someday the tide will rise up so high to swallow me...

INSANE COOL STUFF IVE BEEN WORKING ON (???) aka FUCK YES TALES SERIESSS whooo

Fri, 15 May 2009 15:08:30 GMT

HAY GUYSsss contrary to popular belief I am indeed alive and kicking, proverbially anyway. Been working on several odds and ends in the past couple of days or so. P.S. THANK YOU FL for being so lovely to me lately. *grin* I've made such deeper bonds in the past couple of weeks than I have in months, hehe. LET'S HOPE WE KEEP IT THIS WAY, GUYS.

LET'S GET IT ON. WELL. I am procrastinating, since my XBOX got a RED RING OF DEATH (level 1 only, thank god, but still WTF HARD DRIVE FAILURE? F U XBOX). OH NOES, I only bought it back in August and basically only played Vesperia 2x (wtf Microsoft)...sigh. I was supposed to call support and get it packed, but w/e I'll do it on the weekend.

JADE AND DIST PORNS. I kid, no real porn (yet) but still hinting and stuff. WHO DOESN'T LOVE HINTING. And some other drawings I've been waiting to scan. Truth: There's only one Jade/Dist, lawl.

MMMM JADE LOVES TO TEASE DIST. Earlicker. I originally wanted to draw him biting, but I fail and now it's licking. Yes.

Mmmmm cute lab Dist. *w* Sorry, I absolutely love lab coats, lmao.

No one in particular, just drew it on my last day of Micro lecture. ^^

I drew this aaaages ago. Yay Kaito. It's uh, colorful. I had a multicolor pen. Shut up. I like those pens.

COSPLAY: RITA WIG STYLED, check.

I am SO ready for my limelight, Boston. (I'll be even more glamorous as Dist, I promise)

DERP DERP. Sorry my face kinda looks gross here, lol. FIRST THING I DID WHEN I WOKE UP WAS WORK ON THE WIG. Yay for priorities LOOOOL.

Ahem.

Fuck I am addicted to cosplay. JFHDFGDFHF. I'm also styling facklemuffin's Jr. wig. Wish me luck there, lawl. It's so fun. What else do I have? Just odd and end pieces I wanna finish around on either Rita or Dist... hnn. I am fearing my Rita spat doesn't fit now 'cause I did lose weight, darn it. Maybe I can fix it so it doesn't fall down... *mumble*

SO UMMM LIKE LOL. Have some extra pictures.

You know live in a scientist family when...

You have this bottle lying around in your bathroom. Yep. (And I just took microbiology so I can understand all of that, heh!)

You use beakers for mundane use in your house, like holding things other than chemicals, hurhur. XD

I was going to take a picture of my dad's reagents he stuck in the freezer (...alongside our food LOL), but they're gone now. DARN IT. @___@

Hahaha we are all awesome scientific dorks. Moving on.

OH YEAH THIS ONE I TOOK THIS MORNING. LOL, THE ROOF FELL IN ON THE PORCH?! That shits dangerous. I hope no one got hurt. WELL THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE NOW, no ceiling panel. Thing. Wow. o-o Old house is old...

My sister got a rabbit from my other sister's boyfriend. It's a dust ball. I'm not even kidding. You can barely see its eyes or mouth LOL. FUZZY. She named him PETE!

My new phone (lol already dirty by my fingerprints). ALSO YES THAT IS JADE/DIST AS MY WALLPAPER. Shush. I SHALL CALL YOU...RITA! Now it can match my cosplay, hurhur.

I finally get to have mp3 ringtones that don't sound like shit! ♥

My awesome cell phone charms. Boo boo BUUSAGI! ♥ Also, Jade. JADE MAKES EVERYTHING 100X BETTER. There's also Viral and Ritsuka but not really visible in this photo.

My bro..well, one of them, and my sister's dog, Colby. Blah. I call him the trashcan dog 'cause he looks ugly. *runs* XD

Just a random shot outside the house, testing the camera. This was a week or two before Spring actually uh, sprung. Y'know, floral blooms and all.

More testing, yay white picket fence.

Tree things.

This is my brother Jon's dog, Brody. He's adorably hyper.

And this my dad and my sister Audrianna with Jon's OTHER dog, Rocko (short for Rocket). HE'S ADORABLE and so soft. Yes.

IN ADDITION, I've been starting to look around for a dating simulator maker program. If I can't find a better one, I'm sticking with RPG Maker XP. I am DYING to ~~suck up all my summer time~~ create a Jade x Dist game. It'll be a helluva lot of work though. Hghrgrhgr BUT I WANNA. ♥ Mmmm jeidisu. ^_^

HOKAY, SO, I'M OFF TO THE GYYYYYYYYYYYYMMMMMMMMMMMM NOW. URRRGH.

p.p.s. I HOPE MY NEW DIST GLOVES COME IN BEFORE ANIME BOOSTOOOOOOOOOOOON. My old ones are irreparably dirty and miraculously unbleachable! o_O I guess I wore them too much, harhar.

...I can't do it anymore.

Mon, 11 May 2009 09:51:23 GMT

It hurts. I can't do anything, much less sleep peacefully. I can't even sleep. I got like, 2 hours of sleep last night total because I couldn't stay asleep. I just woke up in tears now, like every other fucking night of the week. Uncontrollable tears with a fear I can't shake. I can't sleep. I can't get this out of my head. Last dream was that you were saying you've been so busy, but in truth you were hiding that you've been making yourself busy so you wouldn't talk to me, let alone even think about grieving. You'd avoid me. It hurts so much now because I know it's the sad, sad truth. I shouldn't be thinking about it, but I am. And it just hurts because you were lying to me. Can I even trust words now?? I'm just going to be replaced. I know it, I know I already am. You're filling up the space we once shared with other things, and it just hurts so much to see it. I can't snap out of this. Something's gotta give, something very serious and something very soon...

Sun, 10 May 2009 04:03:25 GMT

23:49 good night, world i reallllyyyy need sleeeeeep uuuuugh. #

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/o/ Hope it gives you hell~

Sun, 10 May 2009 00:39:02 GMT

Just a song that fits my mood about now. Mmm. It's so catchy. Right on!

Now where's your picket fence, love
And where's that shiny car
Did it ever get you far?
You never seem so tense, love
Never seen you fall so hard
Do you know where you are?

Truth be told I miss you
Truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where did it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on

Truth be told I miss you
Truth be told I'm lying

Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies
If you look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well

\o\ Bring it!

I just want to

Sat, 09 May 2009 02:23:28 GMT

cry.

just some random shiz

Thu, 07 May 2009 14:08:42 GMT

So lol. At the lab I work in yesterday Corrine was talking to me offhandedly about how she started her career as a CLS. We both came to the conclusion (from my observations and her own) that scientists tend to talk to themselves most frequently ... I thought it was funny because it was so true. I even catch myself doing it, hee. I guess it's all in the behavior (maybe having to handle so many things all at once, hee hee, we always multitask). ♥

Y'know I can't say this enough. I really fit in here at the hospital's lab. I'm glad I got the job... I've been working there for over a year.. umm, a year and four months now? ^^ I love it to piiiieces. Everyone's so amazing and odd and funny. It's like my second family...scientific family. XD They always give me tips/warnings about classes, too! Hee!

Oh yeah Tall Paul was at work yesterday. He normally works morning shift so I never see him. It was nice to do catch up~ ~~man if I wasn't so young I'd say he is mighty cute~~ Ahem. I wuv him. :3

My PHONE came in the MAAAAIL. I need to pick it up from the post office, harhar. It's red and a chocolate and I AM SO EXCITED! I think I'll name it Rita! XDD

Oops, I forgot to pay for my web server... now it's temporarily suspended. This never happened before. *sigh* Whatever, I paid it now. GET BACK ONLINE!! *SNIFFLE*

Mmmmrrph. I have to go back to studying medical micro. It's funny how the human body is incapable of combating a fungal infection ... but they can make antibodies to it. Odd. The AB don't do shit. They're whack, yo. /scientific rambling. That and parasites.

P.S. If you are bored and are in need of RANDOM WTF IS THIS go here and read these texts:
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ ... Some of them make me want to smack whoever texted it around for a bit. :O

Thu, 07 May 2009 04:04:52 GMT

15:07 guesssss what time it is?!?! time to study medical micro! oh god, did I ever tell you how much I love microbiology? heeeee #

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Productiveness part deux (Abyss 4koma, how I missed thee) or, in this post we go "awww poor Dist"

Wed, 06 May 2009 15:06:00 GMT

Fiiiirst off, it's been rattling around in my brain for a while but I just finally got it down. I originally had it as buusagi because that's the word I'm used to, but I changed it to rappig. Oh yes.

Yeah I admit, just wanted to draw some creepy Jade. I wish I had more room, I'd draw a cute boo or two, maybe Peony in the background, harhar. YOU KNOW, I bet Peony was patient zero. Heh. He practically lives in close quarters with those things.
(cross posted everywhar)

P.S. LOL sorry about the misspelling of preposterous. mmmph. i'm not going to change it now, sry.

Second off, wow. I'm on my old comp right now, and there was a file called love.txt on the desktop. It seemed odd to be there, and the title intrigued me. I don't recall it at all. So click click. Anyway it was created on June 19, 2008.

The contents are:

If you love someone, let them go. Because if you really cared about them, you would be willing to risk everything just to see them happy; even if thats not what you want. Because in the end; knowing that they're happy is all that should really matter<|3.

Wow. And I honestly don't remember writing that. It was in HTML and everything, too.
mmmaybe I should take my own advice, huh...

Well I have to go study for my medical micro final. Wish me luck, gaiz.

Wed, 06 May 2009 04:04:15 GMT

09:10 @valcion what's up with the dmv? yeah i know they suck. i couldn't renew my picture on my license. bastards! i gotta wait til 2012. #

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So thus ends another chapter in the story of life...

Sun, 03 May 2009 12:46:56 GMT

I don't know what to say. I really still am in denial at this point. I don't want to accept the fact that she just...simply gave up on me. There is still a part of me that wishes I could go back, have another chance and fix it. *sigh* I really hope she made the right choice for her, because I never wanted it to be this way. Argh. I'm obviously not in control anymore. *shakes fist at some invisible god* But there's still plenty of hell to overcome in my not too distant future. I hope I don't waste my summer with this nasty depression, I hope I really don't because that wouldn't be fair at all. BUT I don't know how long it takes to recover and I don't want to force myself. I want to take a natural route and heal properly. Thing is, I don't know what it's going to be like. I was never so serious with another person before. *sigh*

I guess it's appropriate that she initiated the relationship, and now she ended it, in some weird physics sense (what was it, if you started life in a hospital, and died in a hospital, then your life would be reset to zero? aaaaack). Huh... I'm just left with nothing now. Really, really nothing to look forward to. I mean, the summer is almost here... I guess I can look forward to that, but I really don't have any trips planned like I usually do so it's just a bummer. *sigh* I wish I could be my usual excited self. And...I do have things like family and friends that will always be around me, but just no romantic love. No love that once encircled everything in my life. *sigh* Life's tough shit sometimes...

I don't know where I'll be going from here though. I can't see past this day even, and that frightens me. I can't even look at Jade and Dist the same way again. ;;;;;; *winces at everyone's gasps* I can't really think about Abyss without feeling some strange emptiness. I hope it's not there for the rest of my life??? I do love Abyss generally because it's such a good game, but I mean I made it even better through friends and with my ex...

I dunno what to do with everything I have that reminds me of her, at the moment, they're all just in a box or something. Argh. It just hurts to look at it, to look at everything.

I generally, genuinely love to go to the gym and work out. I've always been like that for ages! But, with things are as of right now, my appetite has been kinda shot. I don't eat as much as I normally do, so if I exercise my usual amount...it's dangerous. For the first 7 days I lost like, 8, 9 pounds. Permanently. ;;;; That's not good at all. T_T I should just try to take it easy. Exercise is very good, especially to let off steam and pent up energy/frustration/whatever... and a good way to improve life (sleeping, natural energy) when you need it! I just...CAN'T DO IT RIGHT NOW, correctly. So thus: frustration on my part. D8

I guess I just need to take one step at a time. First off, I must try to fix myself up before I do anything else. WHILE TAKING MY FINALS. Yep.

One step at a time... one step at a time... T_T

Maybe I should find a new hobby.

EDIT

Two more things I'd like to quick get off my chest.

1) For the past couple of months, I've been hiding the fact that I have... multiple tumor-like lumps on my body (smaller than the one I have in my arm). I have yet to really do much about them. Half of me doesn't even want to recognize or acknowledge it, but they're there. Scary...

2) Thank you, - all of you - my lj friends, who have read lately and commented. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart with trying to help me cope, give advice to and get through this rough patch... ♥ ...